July 1, 2013

Six lives...one family

It's crazy to me to think about my family and the journey we've been on for the past year of our lives. (or even the Journey Tyson and I began almost 9 years ago when we became parents when our oldest was born) Six individual people, six lives the Lord sent down to earth to be part of one family. Each person bringing something unique to the table. Tyson with his beautiful heart, willing to serve those around him, Harlie with her mothering instinct and kind nature, Lucas with his peace maker's soul, Sarah with her strength and guarded loving heart, Madison with her spunk and smile to brighten our days, and me what do I bring to this family unit? I am the mom, I am imperfect what could I possibly bring? I bring the glue to unite us together, I bring my stubbornness to not give up on things that others would have given up on long ago.

There is ONE family but there are six individuals here. No one parenting technique works on every one of my four children, sometimes a technique works once and not a second time.

Something I have noticed about having a special needs child is that everyone is a critic, there is always someone who "KNOWS IT ALL" because they think they have gone through the "exact thing" you have, has advice for you that they themselves do not follow, and there is always someone who is unwilling to ask the questions because the answers to them might be uncomfortable.

 But if you're lucky you have people in your life who just trust that you know what you are doing, or at least that you are learning. They don't try to compare "their story" with yours, they don't try to minimize your struggle they just accept that it is hard they listen when you need to let it out because your heart can't hold any more pain. They don't wait for a call from you, they make the call TO you, they text "hey girl, just thinking of you how are things?" they make an effort. They don't tell you that not talking about it is the only and best way to deal, they don't sweep it under the rug and live by the outdated military policy of "don't ask don't tell" because it makes them uncomfortable. We are lucky to have a handful of those kind of people in our lives, who help lift the burden.

We will get through this, my child will be whole someday and my family will come out of this stronger for it, I WILL keep sharing my experience, I will keep pushing forward, I will read blogs, go to the therapy sessions, read books, listen to diagnosis and doing what I am doing because I am mom, and I get to decide, no one don't gets to judge my decisions if I don't let them.

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