Disneyland 2015

Raising a child with a traumatic past is scary at times. We spent the past week at Disneyland and in the weeks leading up to our trip my anxiety was on HIGH alert. I was nervous the flight would trigger a bi-polar episode for my daughter, since it was the first time she's flown since she was adopted the first time (by her grannie). I was nervous about how her behavior at the parks would be with all of the lights and noise and excitement. I was nervous about her effecting the experience for my other kids, my husband and myself...I was scared.

I can honestly say we did it, it took a lot of team work from every member of our family. However, meltdowns and tantrums were kept at bay. We met her panic attacks with love and support before they got out of hand. Over all we had an amazing experience that I'll never forget.

However, something is sticking with me from our experience. As I watched my children's faces as they experienced Disneyland, I couldn't help but notice Tink's hesitance to allow herself to experience the pure joy. I wonder what was making her hesitant, I wish I could have eased the fears she didn't express. I wish I could give her back that "joy" that has been stolen from her. I can only love her and hope that eventually it's accepted enough to fill in the holes her life experience has put there.

No kid should ever go through what mine has, but I can proudly say we are doing the best we can for her. We went to disneyland....and not only survived but had fun. The photo above is Tink and Madison watching the "big parade", you can almost feel Tink's smile as the points to the Bug's life float with excitement.