And the days go by

November 20th, Christmas will be here before we know it. Things seem to be moving at such a fast pace. We have continued to struggle with Sarah, it seems as though her life has just been too stressful for one five year old to sort out. We had counseling session to get things started and our counselor believes that Sarah suffers from an attachment disorder. She mentioned one that I have been looking into because my gut feeling was leading me there. It seems as though our little Sarah is a RAD kid. RAD stands for reactive attachment disorder. It can happen from a child being taken from it's mother at birth and not having her basic needs met in the first two years of life, frequent changes in caregivers can compound the problem. All of which Sarah has had to endure. We are on a long hard road with her, but we are getting her help in time. Kids like Sarah who don't receive attachment therapy before they are 12 years old, tend to have a lot of problems with drugs and violence. Sarah has what the counselor called her "public face" which is the Sarah that is playful and fun loving and at most just seems to be a little hyper active. Then there is reactive Sarah who struggles for control of her surroundings as a form of self defense from her caregiver(s). Sarah has problems with self control and doesn't understand cause and effect, she is also prone to meltdowns like you have never seen before, and can harm herself and others when in meltdown mode. With therapy Sarah will be that fun loving happy girl but it will take work. For those of you who will be around Sarah I encourage you to research RAD, so that you can be part of our support team. In order for Sarah to make progress I need our friends and family to understand something, Sarah is NOT a normal 5 year old. Lying occasionally is something that kids do, Sarah does not lie occasionally she lies almost anytime you ask her a question. What you say and do can effect how she views her parents. If you say "I think you're being to hard on her" within earshot, you could be undoing a lot of counseling. However if you tell her that she is really lucky to have such great parents, that can boost her therapy sucess. It's hard to explain a mental disorder because people can't understand a disorder they see no evidence of, but trust me it isn't a big bowl of peaches.

Our court date to finalize the adoption is December 10th and I am so happy that Sarah will be able to be sealed to us in the temple not long after that. I know that I have complained but I can't thank heavenly father enough for leading our Sarah home to us, so that we can get her well and feel our family is finally whole again.

It's October!!

 Holy moly where does the time go? I swear it was just new years and now it is October.  Yesterday paper work was filed with the court to adopt Sarah, which means within 60 day her adoption will be final! Whew! The past 4 months have been a very bumpy road for us. Lots of meltdowns, feeling left out, learning and learning some more, lots of time outs and discoveries.  

We have learned:

1. Sarah spent the first month and a half throwing up 1-2 times a week. Due the the pink vomit and the fact that she was completely fine afterwards, I started searching online for a possible cause and found that one of the things that could cause that is Red dye, so we did an experiment and eliminated red dye from Sarah's diet, immediately we started seeing a change, no more upset tummy and a slight change in behavior. Success!  Except that now I have to explain to a 4 year old that she can't have anything with red dye in it. We have to explain that ketchup and Spaghetti are red naturally so she can have them still but that things like Doritos and red slushees are a no go. I have never had a kid with allergies so learning to read labels and shop alternatively is a new experience, but we are learning.

2. A decision to adopt a additional child is one that effects the whole family, every one of our kids have struggled and continue to struggle with this. They love Sarah, but Sarah is extremely active which makes her "annoying" to them. When she is bored I watch her as she will go from child to child bugging them until they scream or hit, which kid to punish? Usually all parties get punished, because I am so frustrated by that point.

3. L-Theanine is my best friend! When I have Sarah on it she is much easier to deal with, and way less anxious. L-theanin is an amino acid, primarily found in green tea. It helps calm nerves and is generally used for adults with anxiety. We began breaking tablets open in water (it's tasteless) But now I have found a chewable form and I am so excited about it!

4. I never thought I'd be using words like Bio-mom, or home study. But these terms are pretty common around here. We recently wrote a letter to Sarah's bio dad in jail and his response was awesome. He is so glad that Sarah is with us and happy. He was grateful for pictures and to know who is adopting her.

There have been many members of the family who have reached out to us via calls or emails, just to give us support but no one has been my rock as much as my sister Becca, I don't know what I would do with out her. She didn't just jump in at the beginning when everything was new and "fun" she has been here through the fun parts and through my breakdowns of wondering if and how I can do this. 

I love Sarah with all my heart, but she is a very hyperactive kid, with no attention span and MANY bad habbits. I have been able to vent or bounce ideas off Becca and she is always there texting or calling asking what she can do. Everyone should have someone like Becca cheering you on and reminding you that you can do it. Both my mom and my Mother in Law have been a great support as well. What would we do without family?

Also the week before last we got a chance to take a break from our lives and focus on helping our kids know that they are all loved and wanted and all important in our lives. While there has been much judgement going on with us going, getting to use grandma's time share and with our taking my mother in law with us. I feel that we deserve it just as much as anyone else and I won't feel guilty about it anymore! My mother in law had joked about how she wanted to stow away in our luggage and come with us, we told her we would have an extra space in the car if she wanted to come, and she did. Her mom lives out there and it was a great opportunity for them to spend some time together. 

For our vacation (since it was on a budget) we spent a lot of time at the beach, and pool. But we did go see an ocean life museum, and wild life sancuary. We also got the chance to see the space shuttle Endeavor fly over Anaheim. We went to parks and played at the play ground and just spent time being a family. It was amazing and I wouldn't change it for a moment.

On to the pics!

         

Luke started Kindergarten!!

Luke Started Kindergarten yesterday!!

He was so excited, he picked out the clothes he wore about 2 weeks ago

Last week he spent the week asking me if I could just "put him on the bus"

I kept telling him that I couldn't because there would be no teacher yet.

I asked him before school what he was most excited for in Kindergarten?

He said learning to read and playing on the playground with friends.

When he got off the bus he seemed so much older to me. 

I started asking him questions about his day and he finally said "Mom I don't want to talk

any more I just want to go play" And so it starts. 

Harlie also started 2nd Grade last week, and is loving it. She really likes her teacher

and is enjoying making new friends. She was very upset because her favorite classmate

from 1st grade and Kindergarten (Leah) was not in her class this year, but she is

enjoying all of the new little friends she is making.

I can't believe how fast my kiddos are growing!

All of the home study is in our lawyers hands and we are now petitioning the court for adoption. The lawyer said we will have a court date within sixty days of the petition. At the court hearing a judge will tell us whether we can or can't adopt Sarah, and if the answer is yes he (or she) will sign the adoption papers and so will we. We will file for a new birth certificate with our names and Sarah's new name on it. Then a year from that date Sarah will be sealed to our family in the Brigham City Temple.

Things have been going pretty well as far as the adjusting goes. Our family, friends and neighbors held a fundraiser to help us pay for the adoption and everything is now covered. The fundraiser was a bake sale a boutique and a silent service auction. We are so grateful to all who helped in any way, it was really a beautiful sight to see, and aside from the money raised it was nice to feel so much support from our community and families. We raised enough money that adopting Sarah won't cost us anything (you know other than the normal raising a child costs) we had to set up a blog for the paypal button so that people could pay for auction items there if they wanted to. That link is here .

Tomorrow we will start preparing the house for our home visit from a social worker, which takes place on Wednesday. I can't even begin to explain how nervous I am. Up until this point we have been the ones deciding whether or not we are able to give this little girl a forever family, and now that task lies within a complete strangers hands. This is also the last major thing we need before our lawyer can file with the courts and we will get a court date. The other night I was laying in bed and I said to Tyson, we are really doing this, we are really adopting Sarah. This experience we have had over the past 6 weeks has been one of the most spiritual, and emotionally challenging ones in our life. But it has also been the most amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Anyway wish us luck!

Meet Sarah

Sarah is 4 years old,  about 3 feet tall. Love's animals, spaghetti, climbing, jumping and many other typical things four year olds love. 

I have often heard that when you give birth to a child, they grow in your tummy, but when you adopt a child, they grow in your heart. Sarah is growing in our hearts, every day she is with us. And we have started the process to adopt this amazing girl and give her a forever family. 

Things have been an emotional roller coaster since she arrived into our home, but calm gets so boring right? We are all adjusting and she loves having siblings. The funny thing about this is, she has told her grandma since she got her that she wanted a mommy, a daddy, a big sister and brother and a baby sister. She custom ordered our family, and we have been blessed since we got her. 

Madi had a big day...

This post is for my Brother in Law Robert who wishes my facebook would post to my blog so that they could stay updated too. :)

Madison has had double ear aches almost once a month in the past year, with the exception of a couple of ever other month earaches during the summer, this lead to her pediatrician recommending we see a specialist and get tubes put in her ears. On Thursday the 23rd of February (my dad's birthday) Madison had surgery to put the tubes in at the very same hospital where we found out my dad was dying. It was a very emotional day for me first, to be at that hospital again and second because anytime you have to admit your child to the hospital you would feel emotion. She was all happy and excited to be "going to the hospital" until they moment she had to sit on that big bed alone, and she was NOT happy to change out of her Pajamas (when Madi says it there is emphasis on the PA, and don't ever try to call them Jammas or Jammies, she won't hear of it) luckily the nurse said that she could stay in her pajamas. She was given a rag doll and we also got a sharpie and drew the doll's face on her. A nurse gave Madi some medicine that mad her loopy and helped her to forget the surgery. She was pretty funny while on it because she was saying and doing really random things like she would lay on the bed and hold her hands in front of her face and wiggle them and laugh at the way they moved. The anesthesiologist has a 2 year old as well and so he fussed all over Madi and carried her off to the operating room and asked someone else to push the bed behind them. The surgery itself only lasted about 10 minutes, coming out of the anesthesia however, was a little rocky and Madi threw up several times. It took Madison a good 2 full days to start to act like herself again, but today she is happy and playful. With any luck we are done with ear infections and she will continue to be healthy and happy!

Baby Bradley

My sweet nephew is two months old now! He scared us all when he came 6 weeks early, but he is doing very well. My kiddos just love him. Madison tried to trade My sister Becca one of her babies she got at Christmas for him, but Aunt Becca wanted to keep this tiny man! We <3 baby Bradley

Luke turned five!

My Little Man turned five on January 6th.

Lucas loves all things Power Rangers, computers, letters, silly songs, Cars, Hugs. Luke is my "easy Child" he doesn't demand much, he is quiet, doesn't cause much trouble. Luke prefers to hang out by himself sometimes, but loves to hang out with his sisters.When Lucas cries, your heart breaks because he doesn't do it very often, and the look on his face is the saddest thing I have ever seen. Lucas loves hanging out with his dad and wrestling, but he also loves to cook with mom in the kitchen. This year is big for Luke as he is all registered for kindergarten in the fall.

I love this little man and love watching him grow.