Broken Bonds

"It takes time to heal wounds of broken love,
  and sometimes that love is for... forever."

 I always wince when people tell me that our little Sarah seems to be doing ok, It's hard for me to explain to others what Reactive Attachment Disorder looks like. It's hard to put into words the things this amazing little girl struggles with, but I'll try. One day a couple of weeks ago, Sarah was having an extremely hard time listening and following the rules. Tyson, being the sweet patient dad that he is he tried rationalizing with her and it went something like this.

"Sarah, do mom and dad love you?" Tyson asked her "Yes" she said, he asked "how do you know dad loves you" she responded "because you're here everyday and not in jail" "yes" he said " that is one way, what are some other things that mom and dad do for you to show that we love you?" and then the blank stare and the repeated "Because you come home everyday" 

That was when it hit me like a freight train she doesn't recognize what love is, so how could she feel it as love. I remember early in my marriage reading a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, it dawned on me that Sarah does not have a language, but someday I hope that she will.
That being said we have had to face the cold hard truth that this R.A.D is something that can never be "cured" it is not something that we can love away. According to her therapist and many other moms who are loving kids like Sarah, she will struggle with this her whole life to some degree or another. We can expect things to get a bit worse when she is 11 or 12 and that scares the heck out of me, but I know that the answers and solutions will come, but most of all I know that someday because of the love of my heavenly father Sarah's mind and heart will be healed and whole again.