At times the corona-virus and the "stay safe stay home" order placed on us by our Governor seems to have taken away all of our freedoms. I work full time as a Graphic Designer in a beautiful BRAND NEW office. I love the interaction with the people I work with and for.
About four weeks ago I made the decision that I would need to work from home if the schools shifted to at home learning for the time being - Which did happen, and luckily my boss was very understanding once I called him and let him know of the struggles we were facing as a family in addition to the ones the world was now facing.
Amid all of that chaos, first my two oldest kids having to accept that their band concert was canceled, then restriction on gatherings causing our church services to be shut down, we had to send our daughter to the juvenile receiving center for a few days, because she was unmanageable and Tyson and I were at our wits end.
My daughter who has BiPolar disorder type I, ODD, Reactive attachment disorder and ADHD and severe anxiety had been struggling since the beginning of the year, really since November of last year. She has snapped and physically hurt others at school, lost recess privileges, had these huge emotional outbursts, run away several times, was generally defiant, angry and unhappy, and dangerous. Our girl had a huge growth spurt and several hormonal changes and had just recently had her medication adjusted - but the medication takes several weeks before it levels out her mania - and had begun hearing things about the pandemic at school about school being shut down, the concert for her siblings had been canceled, and then the final straw for her was church being canceled. Seeing her that mentally unstable was something I will likely never forget, it was like I was looking at my kid, but someone or something else was looking back at me, and it hated her dad and me fiercely.
We made the decision that she was safer in a facility that had a kind of safety we could not provide. Safety from herself, but also safety for the other members of her family that were already in turmoil.
It was one of the hardest decisions we've had to make, and it was only 72 hours (which ended up being slightly fewer) but those couple of days gave us all a chance to step back and get hold of the situation in our home, while the situation in the world was getting worse.
When Sarah came home she expected to be able to return to school the next day, only to find out that school was now online, but her attitude had shifted so something that would have normally caused a lot of panic was manageable. Online school began on the same Wednesday that we woke up to a 5.7 earthquake and several large aftershocks. Okay, I needed help, and I needed it from someone who knew me and my daughter better than anyone if we were going to get through this next little bit called "social distancing". At this point I went to my room, I knelt down and I asked my Heavenly Father to please help me with my daughter, there was more to this prayer but I will spare those details. What I can say is that when I opened my eyes, tears streamed down my face and I knew he heard me, and that help was on it's way. That I had a Heavenly Father that valued my concern, and loved me and my family, and especially my girl.
This past 28 days has been hard, but the silver lining is that I have learned so much about my girl. Before this epidemic she was so unstable that her Psychiatrist, and her therapist recommended that I could not send her to her church activities, because small things would make her snap. I have had the past almost month to help her learn how to identify where the anger starts and sometimes she is able to control it. Tyson and I would not have been able to help our girl free from others who's "help" was making her sicker. I feel so much better about where Sarah is now as opposed to where she was. I know that part of it is due to the medication regulating her racing mind, but I also know that Heavenly Father has also had his hand in helping her, and I am so grateful he heard and answered my prayer.
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