Why I Have Chosen to Share Our Journey

For too long we have swept the problems of mental illness underthe carpet... and hoped that they would go away. ~ Richard J. Codey

Mental illness is something most people feel ashamed of, they feel that they should be strong enough to handle it on their own. They feel embarrassed or ashamed to share, and that it's no one else's business. Some people just feel like it's a very private thing and they want to handle it quietly. That's fine if you are the kind of person that is ok with it. I however, want my struggle with my daughters mental illness as well as being diagnosed with my own depression and ptsd to be for something. I choose to share our struggle because I want others to know that they aren't weak and destined to suffer. I want to share because someday when I am on the other side of this trial looking back at it triumphantly, I want to advocate for others still in it. I don't want to go through this trial with the weight of shame, as if I had done something to deserve what I am dealing with. While some may look at it as me attention seeking, that's fine if that's what they choose to do. This is not the attention anyone wants, being second guessed is a horrible feeling especially when no one second guesses you as much as yourself.
My battle is not one that will be fought quietly behind closed doors because when I do that I feel that it sends the message that I believe mental illness should be something we are ashamed of. My daughter did nothing wrong to deserve being abandoned by just about every adult who has ever come in contact with her. My daughter did not send a signal that made her bio mom crave the meth that has damaged her brain to it's very core. I certainly did not anticipate giving my child a family of her own, and home that is forever hers just to be diagnosed with Depression and PTSD, and watch as my husband is diagnosed with Depression and severe anxiety, but I would do it again in a heartbeat because I have learned so much and I will come out on the other side of this better, and I hope that this experience gives inspiration to other families struggling as well as other moms and dads who feel like they are being crushed under the pressure of parenting.